“With a husband like that, I’d be happy to have three kids”: ideal fatherhood, endogenous symbolic annihilation of motherhood, and fertility intentions on Chinese social media

Background Chinese social media has become an important arena where fatherhood is made visible as a form of coparenting. In the context of demographic transition, Confucian gender norms, and rising feminist consciousness, short videos of fathers caring for children often attract public praise. Yet within fatherhood-centered comment threads, such praise often positions maternal labor as an assumed background rather than an equally recognized form of care work. Existing research has examined platform content and fatherhood discourse, but less is known about how everyday user interaction reshapes the value hierarchy of paternal and maternal labor. Methods This study analyzes 2,798 valid public comments collected from Xiaohongshu using the keyword “daddy raising kids.” It combines thematic analysis, critical discourse analysis (CDA), and symbolic annihilation theory to examine the implicit biases and social meanings embedded in these discursive practices. Results The analysis identifies four main themes. First, users construct the “ideal father” by spectacularizing male caregiving and positioning maternal labor as an assumed background rather than an equally recognized form of care work. Second, fatherhood is given performative and commercial value, while motherhood is often positioned as less visible and more naturalized. Third, women’s “conscious resistance” coexists with “compliant discourse” that reaffirms traditional gender roles. Fourth, conditional fertility intentions show how motherhood is repeatedly invoked within fatherhood-centered discussions as a background reference through which paternal involvement, maternal labor, and reproductive responsibility are evaluated. Conclusion This study suggests that the visibility of fatherhood on social media is shaped by platform logics, algorithmic amplification, and user interaction. It introduces the concept of “endogenous symbolic annihilation” to explain how everyday praise, comparison, silence, and compliance in user interaction may reproduce a gendered hierarchy in which paternal involvement becomes exceptional, while maternal labor and reproductive experiences remain less explicitly valued. This extends symbolic annihilation from media representation to participatory digital interaction. It also contributes to debates on fathers as coparents by showing that the celebration of paternal involvement does not necessarily produce coparenting equity. In the Chinese context, it may reproduce a gendered hierarchy in which fatherhood is valued as exceptional, while motherhood remains naturalized as obligation.