"It changed me, who I am": How parents with children in the forensic mental health system in Ontario, Canada experience the transformation of their identities.

Family involvement is widely recognized as essential to mental health care. Yet, it remains particularly difficult in forensic mental health settings. While existing studies have predominantly examined challenges in family involvement in forensic mental health, little is known about how families assume and embody different roles within this setting. This study explored the lived experiences of family members who had relatives in the Ontario forensic mental health system. Using interpretive phenomenological analysis and leveraging a theoretical framework rooted in the critical work of Jacques Donzelot, we conducted in-depth interviews with 17 family members, 11 of whom were parents, recruited from two forensic mental health hospitals. This article examines a significant phenomenological thread that emerged within the accounts of parents, namely that their child's entry into the forensic mental health system fundamentally transformed their own sense of self. Our findings, presented under three phenomenological streams - (1) It's a barnacle on my back, (2) Removal of iron wings, and (3) From being so involved, to being totally cut out - illustrate how the micropolitics of forensic mental health care transform the identities of family members. We conclude by discussing implications for forensic mental health professionals, emphasizing the need to recognize and support the identity transformations parents undergo when navigating forensic mental health systems.